if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
i love being sober and talking to drunk people at parties cause i asked a guy “if you were a wizard what kind of spells would you cast” and i know he wasnt lying when he said “summon creatures”
zooey deschanel wanted what regina spektor had, regina spektor wanted what leonard cohen had, and leonard cohen just wanted to have coffee with heretical 17th century mystic sabbatai tzvi
i just realized this is funny every month of the year actually
honey, i rose up from the dead, i do it all the time
i got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined
so i was thinking about
ALTpost cancelled i got this notification as i was typing this and i think it’s trying to tell me something
eras tour | don't blame me → look what you made me do
ATTENTION
he.s warmign his hasnds
OTC BIRTH CONTROL APPROVED BY THE FDA
Add to the list of "things about America I (american) didn't know were not normal worldwide"
Every january goth couples are fucking hard to try and have a halloween baby they're gonna name ophelia or some shit
I’m a Halloween baby but my parents are normal so I’m Garrett
Hi garrett
oh god I got a picture of the moon you tumblr bitches are gonna LOVE
LOOK AT HER!!!! CRESCENT MOON DURING A BEAUTIFUL SUNSET!!!! SHE’S BISEXUAL!!!!!!
The Bisexual and Transgender pride flags colour picked from literally the most beautiful image of the moon ever
the fact that tiktokers decided to do the zepotha thing on purpose makes me feel so undeservedly smug. oh you had to tell people to talk about the fake movie? interesting. you fucking wish you could be half of what goncharov was
August sipped away like a bottle of wine, 'cause you were never mine.
stellina stole my nephews binky and I’m fucking crying